Well...at the Aqua Terra, I think I came in near to first
place with the Aqua Terra "rash"...poison ivy. Now I'd like to make
my bid for first place with the Sidewinder "rash"...prickly pear
tracks.
Halfway out on the Mountain Bike leg, I was gleefully flying
down one of the many short and steep inclines of the trail.
Unfortunately, at the bottom I lost it and me and my bike did a
flying dive straight into a full, dense and perfectly positioned
prickly pear patch. I'm not sure what my scream of anticipation was
like but it probably was more alarming than the one resulting from my
landing. In truth, the worst part was heading for the patch in mid
air knowing there was nothing I could do to prevent all of those
anxiously waiting thorns from breaking my fall. It was a "multiple"
point landing (pun intended). All sides of my body, top to bottom
were spiked with those long, painful to remove, stiff thorns. Not
having had much experience with prickly pear, I immediately started
removing them thinking it would all soon be over. But then I
discovered those "little" guys. Hundreds of them were in every
protruding part on my body. Hands, elbows, shoulders, knees, behind,
and more. My faithful team mate, Jonathan Judge quickly helped me
remove as many as we could, in haste, so I could get back on my bike.
When he told me to take off my shirt to get several little guys in my
shoulders (right where the camel back straps go), I couldn't because
it was "pinned" on by several deeply imbedded long thorns. Even now,
I still have one that went in my arm and broke off parallel under the
skin. It's about a 1/4 inch under and I can push one end and you can
see the other move an inch away. I'm keeping it for a souvenir.
After hasty surgery and much appreciated help from Jonathan,
I got back on my bike and found the one and only unique position for
each hand on my handle bars that didn't have any of the tiny, deeply
imbedded small thorns that cause an immensely more painful irritation
than their size warrants. All the rest, including in the area on
which I rest on my bike seat, just got pushed in farther for the time
being. The race must go on. By now, we were in last place.
To make matters worse, Jonathan had laid his bike down, in
his haste to help me, in a neighboring prickly pear patch and
unknowingly hefted it up, got on and promptly transferred several
groupings of the little thorns that were in the bike into his seat.
OUCH!!!
Now both in pain, off we went. At every break the rest of the day, my
team mates continued to remove thorns out of my back and shoulders.
Fortunately, racing only requires three points of external pressure.
Sitting, standing/walking/running and the faithful camel back.
Driving home wasn't too bad either as the same pressure points apply.
When I laid down to sleep and pulled the sheet over me, it was a
whole different story. I was immediately back up and with a lighted
magnifying glass, spent the next four hours removing countless little
thorns. I have removed more each morning noon and night until this
morning. I think I've gotten them all, except for my pet souvenir.
Now all I have is a body covered in zit looking red marks, some
infected, most not.
So...if you can beat that "sticky" story, bring it on. For
now, I'm claiming my coveted "cow pie" award as my trophy for the
most punctures of the race.
Oh yes! I would like to thank all of the racers that passed
us up while performing sticker surgery and offering their help. Most,
if not all, assumed we had bike trouble and I didn't think any of
them would be real happy about taking tweezers to my punctured
physique so we gratefully said, "no thanks". BUT, I would like to
offer my thanks again to all of those concerned and willing to help
out. That's one of the many reasons that I like this sport and those
who participate in it so much.
I wonder what kind of "rash" I'll get in the next race?
Randall