The Best Darn Adventure Racing Company in TEXAS!

The Gucci Girl's point of view

By Laura Alton of The Gucci Girls

Well, the race kind of went like this.........(for us anyway)......

It started by us being late - as usual.

The first leg was a 1/2 mile run (or it seemed like a half mile) to a corner then another 1/2 mile run as a three legged race (actually it seemed like 4 miles). Beth and I being the same height, stuck our legs (only one of them each) in a gunny sack, grabbed each other's shoulders, and started running down this double track rutted out road with baby head rocks on it. Liked to fell over! That was one of the hardest things we had to do!!!!! Then it was off to finish the 3.5 mile hike/run to the river. A 10 feet drop off straight into the river! We had taken flippers because we knew there was only one kayak and three people - one would have to swim. So, I put on the flippers and hopped into the tube we dragged behind the kayak and started kicking while Claire and Beth started paddling. We passed about 5 teams. We were supposed to paddle for 3-4 miles and we were kicking ass.......until we came to the low spot in the river, I mean creek. We had to get out of the boat/tube and carry everything about 100 yards. Well, that was hard without shoes on (I was carrying my fins, and the tube) in the creek. So, we lost about 5 places. Got back in the river (I mean creek) (and a smelly creek at that). Picked off all those people we just lost places to. Then...........portage again!!!! After about 3 of those, I gave up on the fins!! So, we ended up portaging (carrying) everything about 2 out of the 4 miles. I saw my first "friend" on the bank by my foot (a.k.a. "snake"). But he was very small and in a hurry to get out of my way (thank god). So, we took off on the hike/run to the next special test. It was a pen full of "teenage cows" - you know - like the ones you see at the rodeo. They each had a ribbon on its tail up by its butt. The object was for one of us to get a ribbon off the cows butt. Well, Claire decided that the way to do that was to grab the cow around the butt, whilst standing behind it bent over..........yep, she got double kicked - one foot in the chest, one in the leg!! Ouch. So, we got the ribbon and off we went to the transition area - some many miles away. No more friends yet.

We got to the transition area and switched over to biking gear and hauled butt semi slowly around the 12 mile course - through cactus, over rocks, down a butt-puckerin' downhill and back to the transition area. Yes, we had slime tubes, but still had two flats!! Oh, did I forget to mention that we already ran out of water............twice? Oooops. And I sort of remember now someone saying something about the sunscreen that we should have put on. Hmmmm. My shoulders were beginning to be really fried.

So, back into running gear, blisters and all. The next special test is to carry a hay bail about 200 yards. It wasn't heavy, just cumbersome and it kept poking our legs. Bethie kept running me through the cactus while she had a clear path to walk in. Claire carried the golf clubs that we were supposed to carry with us. She had the hard job! So, then the hike/trek/run again. Did I say run? Well, sort of a shuffle by now. So, we tried running 3 minutes, hiking 1 minute. That finally got reduced to 2/1 then down to 1/1. It went on forever!! I thought we'd never get to whatever we were trying to get to. So, we then heard "FORE". HMMmmmmm. Golf anyone? We got to a lookout that was about 100ft. straight down to the creek, with a golf "green" on the other side. They gave you three balls, wrote your team number on each ball. The object was to drive all three balls across the river, go and find one of them, take it to the "green" and putt it in. Bethie, having just returned from Hawaii and playing golf, was the "most appropriate". Soooo......FOOOORRRE......shit. Slice right - did anybody see where it went? No. Soooooo......FOOOORRRE.........holy shit. Worse slice. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that if you didn't find a ball, then you could get one on the "green" but had to stay there for 20 minutes!!! So..........FOOOORRRRE.......oh my god, what a beautiful shot!! Just below the "green". So, down the side of the cliff we went, across the creek, only to notice the 2 foot long aligator gar cruising the creek that I had been swimming in not too long ago. Shit. So, Claire and her wonderful putting abilities, putt the thing into the cup on the "green" and off we went in search of the next mystery event. No markings on this portion of the course. Just "follow the creek" until you find "it", whatever "it" was. Well, after hiding from another team, getting lost, seeing an even bigger gar, and Claire almost stepping on a 6 ft. long "friend" who was sleeping, or whatever snakes do when they are just laying there! we found what "it" was. "It" was a cable crossing across the river in a harness. COOL!!! Oh yeah, we are once again almost out of water and have another 4 miles to go in the really hot, no sunscreen, tank top, humid weather. Shit. So, we shuffle back to the transition area, with Bethie about to pass out - I mean she was weavin and wobbling all over. Fill up with water (again). Off we go to finish the mountain bike leg. Through the cactus, off the trail - trail? What trail? There ain't no trail, but there ain't no friends either, so I wasn't complainin too much, until we went up a steep hill and down through the mesquite thorns. Ouch. Bethie's distance was always "just 4 more miles". Well, guess what? I'm out of water - again. Shit. So, we cruise back - 4 miles. We pass a point where someone tells us we are in second - oh my god!! Can we speed up? Uhhhh......no. So, we're coming up to the finish line and Bethie says, "so, we're gonna hold hands while we cross the finish line, right?" Mind you, we are on the bikes and Claire is in the middle. "No Beth, Claire won't be able to hold on to the bar if we do that". "Oh yeah." So we ride on a little farther, a little closer to the finish line, and Bethie says, "so, we're gonna hold hands when we cross the finish line, right?" "NO BETH, Claire can't hold on". "oh yeah." So, we ride almost to the finish line, and Bethie says, "Ok, you ready to hold hands?" I say, "Bethie.......NO!! We can't do that!" (I think she was delerious!)

So we finish the race, 6 minutes behind a men's team, in front of all the co-ed teams and all the other men's teams!!!! Aren't we bad to the bone? Not bad for a bunch of girls!! 9 hours, 36 minutes, bruises, scratches, blisters, sunburnt later........we were done. Cooked I would call it, but on cloud 9. So, Claire sports her T-shirt that says on the front "Jack and Jill went up the hill..." and on the back it says "And she kicked his butt!!" Isn't that neat?

Are we crazy? Yes we are. But we love doing it.

Send mail to leiza@rattlesnakeracing.com with questions or comments about Rattlesnake Racing.
Copyright © 1999 Rattlesnake Racing Co.
Last modified: January 04, 2002